Personal Stories
The AACLD recently received a multi-year grant to support and grow parent advocacy in African American communities nationwide. As a part of this journey, we are collecting personal stories from students with learning disabilities and parents and professionals from across the country, that through personal experience and the knowledge of what has worked teach us all how to become better advocates for our children. If you would like to submit a personal story for consideration, please email info@aacld.org with your story.
Never, Ever Give Up
By Christina Cruce, B.A. The College of Wooster 2012
I have always been terrible at math. From as early as I can remember I have always felt “dumb” or inferior in math because I had to ask for help from those around me, whether they were my teachers, my classmates or my parents. When I was nine, I was diagnosed with dyscalculia, a math related learning disability. Though it was not until high school that I learned my actual diagnosis and what it meant for me going forward in school. My mother always told me that I was on an IEP because I was LD, which she told me meant that I “learned differently.”
The concept of learning differently made plenty of sense to me. From fourth grade until my high school graduation, I had always been allowed to take my tests in a different, quieter room and I was always allowed to ask for help from either my teacher or my test proctor. My math teachers always made certain “accommodations” for me.
Where I attended high school, students were required to take three years of science, three years of history, four years of English and four years of math. This always seemed so unfair, somewhat unbalanced to me because for as bad as I was at math, and science too for that matter, I truly excelled in English and even more so in history. In fact when I was diagnosed as LD in the fourth grade, I was reading on a college level. Surprise – the gifted and talented team never showed any interest in me until my junior year of high school. As you can imagine my plate was full and frankly, I didn’t have any interest in them.
History and English proved to be my strong points. They kept me up when I was feeling down. In fact, this month I will earn my college degree in history. At any rate there was no way around taking multiple math courses and staying on a college prep track in school. There was no way around it. Trust me, between my mother and I, we tried to find another way. But, I had to stick with math. As you can imagine math and I had some pretty tough battles; we fought hard in Algebra I and II, and I nearly faltered in Geometry, but because of the support of those around me and my strong will to succeed I passed with a C+.
When it came time to choose a college, I was determined to pick a good, small school that did not require me to take any math. Of course, it didn’t work out that way. I found the College of Wooster, in Ohio and I fell in love right away with its picturesque beauty, great traditions and its quest for excellence. The College is a liberal arts college, which meant I had to take at least an additional semester of math. I was lucky because my professor was very helpful and further because the college boasts a wonderful Learning Center. This is a place where students with learning disabilities can go to get help, to take their tests or really anything they needed to succeed in college. The staff there is great, and that is one reason why I recommend people with learning disabilities to give the College of Wooster a good look. They are very supportive and the school is just wonderful.
I was never made to feel as though I couldn’t make it, they were there every step of the way and that meant so much to me. Though, always remember LD or not, every degree of success comes with hard work and perseverance.
When I graduated this May, I knew that though I “learned differently,” I never let anything stop me from doing what I needed to do to succeed. Of course there were times when I wanted to give up, but I didn’t. Now that I have graduated, I feel such a sense of personal pride that I did it and with the right supports, the right attitude and a strong degree of tenacity – YOU CAN TOO! Do not let your disability define you, own it, work with it and never, ever give up!
All the best!
The above is an original article under copyright and not to be reproduced without permission. If you would like to re-use this article in any manner, please contact the AACLD at info@aacld.org.
Taking Your Seat at the Head of the Table
By: Jayne Young, Parent Mentor and Freelance Writer
Note: An Individualized Education Program (IEP) is a written statement of the education program designed to meet a child's individual needs. Every child who receives special education services must have an IEP.
For several years, I have been giving advice to parents on how to have a successful IEP meeting. With each spring comes a new flood of parents -- nervous, intimidated, and unaware of what they cannot possibly know.
No other path in our lives leads us to this place where for an hour or more school personnel in their space and with their knowledge talk to us about our children. It can be one of the most painful, uncomfortable settings that parents find themselves in. If IEP meetings weren't so important, most of us would get up and leave! I know because I have been there. I sat at that table each year for nine years until my daughter graduated from high school.
I am both blessed and cursed because I am an assertive woman. I have a degree in Interpersonal Communications and rarely do I shy away from asking difficult questions. That is why I have dedicated the last six years of my life as a parent mentor to help others who don't have the same tool set, but certainly can learn. My belief is that if you are going to tell me about my daughter's problems, I am going to ask you about reasonable solutions.
It's not personal at the IEP table -- it's all business. While these well-meaning people had my daughter for one school year at a time, I have her for a lifetime. I wanted to see her flourish and become everything she could be. I knew things about her that they couldn't even imagine. I watched her grow and stumble. I knew her strengths and weaknesses. The school didn't lower the bar for her -- we insisted that it work with us to give her the tools to jump over that bar.
I tell parents, "claim your spot at that head of the table" for that is where you belong. School personnel are, in essence, reporting to you. Arrive early for the meeting because it shows that you are serious. Look the part -- let your attire show them that you mean business. Sit up strong and proud for this is your child they are talking about! You are there as your child's strongest advocate. Be polite because nothing is more disarming.
Don't be a pushover, stand your ground! Don't be intimidated by titles of Dr. This or Dr. That for your title is far more important -- you are "Mom" or "Dad" or "Grandparent" or "somebody that loves a special needs child." You are worthy of respect. Be thoughtful and listen with willing ears. If you don't know what you want to do at the end of the meeting, tell them you would like to "digest" the information and you will get back to them in a reasonable amount of time.
You are off to a great start because you are learning about this new role you find yourself in. It is intimidating for sure, but nothing worthwhile comes easy and what could be more important than making sure your child gets the services he or she needs and deserves. Every school year will be different, but that's okay, because with every new year you will find yourself more prepared than you ever thought possible. And then, your child will make your proud.
My daughter graduates from college this spring and I couldn't be any prouder! For all of the IEP meetings, calls to teachers and times of simply "wringing my hands," she made it. When she walks across that stage to receive her diploma, I will say to myself "job well done!" We did it and so can you. Walk strong and remember to sit at the head of the table!
The above is an original article under copyright and not to be reproduced without permission. If you would like to re-use this article in any manner, please contact the AACLD at info@aacld.org.
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